Success is something everyone seems to want. We dream about it, plan for it, and work tirelessly towards it. Whether it’s success in our career, relationships, personal goals, or any other area of life, the idea of achieving something grand excites us. But here’s the catch: success doesn't come in a vacuum. It comes as part of a package deal, and more often than not, people overlook the fact that the struggles, the challenges, and the frustrations are just as much a part of success as the rewards.

After over two decades in business and almost four decades of life experience, I’ve come to understand this truth through the lens of hard-earned wisdom: we are always allowed to do what we ask for, but we also have to be ready for everything that comes with it. That means embracing both the good and the bad, the triumphs and the tribulations, the sunshine and the mud. It's the yin and yang of life, the balance that makes growth possible.

The Duality of Success: Understanding the Yin and Yang

We live in a world that often presents success in a glorified, one-sided light. Think about the motivational speeches you hear, the social media posts of someone celebrating a milestone, or the stories of people who’ve “made it.” They talk about the end result: wealth, recognition, and happiness. But we rarely get the full picture, where success also includes failure, frustration, sacrifice, and disappointment.

This is where the concept of yin and yang becomes relevant. In Chinese philosophy, yin and yang represent how seemingly opposite forces are interconnected and interdependent in the natural world. They are complementary rather than antagonistic.

Success operates the same way. For every win, there is a loss. For every leap forward, there is a stumble. The good and bad moments are intertwined, creating a balanced experience that drives growth and development. To truly succeed, we need to accept that success is not a straight path, nor is it a singular moment of glory. Instead, it’s a journey filled with both joy and hardship.

Asking for Success: Are You Ready for the Responsibility?

It's ironic how most of us ask for success, yet when it finally presents itself, we find ourselves complaining or feeling overwhelmed.

Consider the example of someone who wants to become a successful entrepreneur. They envision the freedom of being their own boss, the financial rewards, and the prestige of building something from scratch. But when they get there, they realize the immense responsibility that comes with it: managing people, keeping up with the competition, maintaining a work-life balance, and the uncertainty of revenue. Suddenly, the success they dreamed of feels heavy, and they complain about the challenges they once yearned for.

This scenario is not limited to entrepreneurship. In relationships, people ask for love, companionship, and understanding, but when they are faced with the inevitable conflicts and compromises that come with being in a partnership, they start to question whether it was worth it. In careers, we aim for promotions, recognition, and higher salaries, only to discover that these advancements come with longer hours, higher expectations, and more stress.

The hard truth is that success, in whatever form it comes, always brings additional responsibilities and challenges. These challenges are not setbacks; they are integral parts of the experience. But the problem is, we often focus so much on the rewards of success that we fail to acknowledge, let alone prepare for, the responsibilities that come with it.

Embracing the Mud: Adversity as a Catalyst for Growth

Here’s a fact many don’t like to admit: adversity is a necessary ingredient for success. Just as rain nourishes the earth, the challenges and obstacles we face nourish our growth. Without adversity, there would be no lessons learned, no strength gained, and no resilience built.

The "mud" that comes with the rain of success is often where the real growth happens. In those moments of difficulty—when things aren’t going your way, when you feel like giving up, or when you’re confronted with unexpected setbacks—you’re forced to adapt, to rethink your strategies, and to push past your comfort zone.

These moments can be uncomfortable, but they are also where true transformation takes place. They force you to question your assumptions, to tap into resources you didn’t know you had, and to develop qualities like patience, perseverance, and problem-solving. Without these challenges, success would be shallow, devoid of depth or meaning.

When we learn to embrace the mud, we start to see adversity not as an enemy but as a crucial part of the journey. It’s easy to wish for a smooth, untroubled path, but the reality is, those bumps and hurdles are what make the destination worthwhile.

Why Do We Complain When We Get What We Asked For?

The tendency to complain about the challenges that come with success stems from a few key factors. First, as mentioned earlier, we are conditioned to focus on the positive aspects of success. Society glorifies the rewards—money, status, recognition—while downplaying the sacrifices and hardships. This creates a skewed expectation of what success really entails.

Second, success often pushes us beyond our comfort zones. It requires us to grow, adapt, and confront our limitations. This can be uncomfortable, and the natural human response to discomfort is often resistance. We complain because we are faced with something we didn’t anticipate, and we feel unprepared to deal with it.

Third, we sometimes underestimate the amount of effort it takes to maintain success. Getting to the top is one thing, but staying there is another. The ongoing demands of success can lead to burnout, frustration, and a sense of disillusionment, especially if we’re not mentally prepared for the long haul.

The “Package” of Success: What’s in It?

So, what exactly is this package of success? It’s not just the accolades, achievements, and rewards that we often associate with it. It also includes:

• Failure: There will be moments when you don’t hit the mark, when you fall short of your goals, or when things don’t go as planned. These failures are not a sign that you’re not cut out for success; they are learning opportunities.

• Sacrifice: Success requires trade-offs. You may need to sacrifice time with family, personal hobbies, or even your peace of mind to achieve your goals. The key is to ensure that what you’re sacrificing is worth what you’re gaining.

• Uncertainty: There will be times when the path forward is unclear. Whether you’re facing a career shift, navigating a complex relationship, or trying to grow your business, uncertainty is part of the journey. Learning to be comfortable with not knowing everything is crucial.

• Responsibility: The more successful you become, the more people rely on you. Whether it’s employees, clients, loved ones, or even your audience, success brings with it the responsibility to deliver and to lead.

• Stress: Success doesn’t come without its fair share of stress. Managing high expectations, dealing with competitors, balancing personal and professional life—all of these can contribute to an increased level of stress that you need to learn to manage.

All of these challenges are part of the package. But here’s the silver lining: when you embrace them, they make your success even more meaningful. They force you to grow in ways you never imagined and push you to become the best version of yourself.

How to Prepare for the Challenges of Success

Knowing that success comes with its fair share of difficulties, how can we better prepare for it?

1. Set realistic expectations: Don’t idealize success as a trouble-free state. Understand that there will be challenges along the way and that these challenges are not a sign of failure but a natural part of the process.

2. Develop resilience: Resilience is the ability to bounce back from setbacks. It’s one of the most important qualities you can cultivate on your path to success. Resilience helps you weather the storms and keep going when the going gets tough.

3. Focus on growth, not perfection: Success is not about being perfect; it’s about growing and improving over time. When you focus on growth, you’re more likely to embrace the challenges that come your way because you see them as opportunities to learn.

4. Cultivate a support system: Whether it’s friends, family, mentors, or colleagues, having a strong support system can help you navigate the difficulties that come with success. These people can offer advice, encouragement, and a sense of perspective when you need it most.

5. Learn to embrace uncertainty: Success often requires stepping into the unknown. Learning to be comfortable with uncertainty and to adapt to changing circumstances is a crucial skill for anyone on the path to success.

Success is Not a Destination—It’s a Journey

The idea that success comes with both joy and hardship is not always an easy pill to swallow. But the truth is, it’s this balance that makes success truly worthwhile. The rain may bring mud, but it also nourishes the soil and allows things to grow. Similarly, the challenges we face on our path to success are what help us grow into stronger, more capable individuals.

As I reflect on my own journey, after decades of both professional and personal experience, I’ve come to realize that the package of success is one that’s worth embracing—mud and all. It’s not just about the destination; it’s about the person you become along the way. And while the challenges may be tough, they are ultimately what shape us, drive us forward, and make the journey worthwhile.

So the next time you ask for success, be ready for everything that comes with it—the good, the bad, and everything in between. Because true success is not just about achieving your goals; it’s about learning, growing, and becoming the best version of yourself through the process.